I read an article in the parachute magazine about how skydiving changed a person’s life.
It got me to thinking
I think a lot
Probably too much but..
If ever there were a person who could say … skydiving changed my life – it would be have to be me!
Six years ago I was a happily married wife and mother of two
My children were both healthy and well on their way to their chosen paths of life
My daughter, then 18, was living her dream as a professional dancer
She was performing in Festival of the Lion King at Walt Disney World in Orlando.
My son, 16 and newly graduated, was looking forward to attending Auburn University in a combined Business and Aviation Program
I had home schooled both my kids for the two years previous so that they could pursue their chosen fields without having the traditional four-year high school delay.
My husband and I were looking forward to having a semi empty nest and building our “dream home”
Then – one weekend – my world came crashing down around me
In the summer of 2003 Tim McGraw released a song – Live Like You were Dying – which raced up the pop charts like few others
I’m a BIG Tim McGraw fan – and Faith Hill as well – so any musical success of either of these two artists is always a welcome event by me
On this particular fateful day though – it was not
I remember sitting in the emergency room with my son – who had been having headaches and feeling dizzy for about two weeks previously.
We had been to the Dr and he had been diagnosed with a sinus infection and allergies …
One afternoon – when I came home from work he was on the couch so dizzy that I knew I needed to get him to some urgent care
I thought he might have been having a reaction to the medication because neither of my kids took a lot of that sort of thing growing up
The ER ordered a cat scan as a precautionary measure
There was some thought that he may have inadvertently bumped his head in the pool
NOT
As I stood there looking at the X rays I was in total disbelief
Right in the middle of his head - as big as golf ball – was a mass of something
The hospital made arrangements to transport us to the Arnold Palmer Children’s Hospital STAT.
The tumor was pushing on his optic nerves and he was in danger of going blind
All I could think of was that song …
“I was in my early 40’s – with a lot of life before me – when… Stopped me on a dime”
At that moment my whole life changed.
Fast-forward two years
The tumor was successfully removed and though his pituitary gland was rendered non functional – and he would be dependant on a host of medications for the rest of this life – he had survived
What did not survive was my marriage
For whatever reason – and now – looking back – I can only assume that the Universe knew what it was doing – my husband was unable to cope with the financial or emotional pressures that had fallen upon us
Instead he turned to illicit drugs and activities to numb his pains
Fast forward again
My daughter – calling from New Zealand – one week before what was to be my 23rd wedding anniversary
She knew how distraught I was as my husband had taken most of our marital assets and savings and the litigation had turned ugly
She told me we needed to go skydiving so that I could remember “this day” as a FIRST in my new life
So – she on one side of the world and me on the other set our appointments
I arrived at the drop zone – Zephyrhills – complete with son in tow.
He too wanted to participate in this maiden voyage and major affirmation of my – our - new beginning
My instructors name was Sebastian
He was from France and quite simply – adorable
My vidiographer Billy was from Canada
Being Canadian – French Canadian – I could not have asked for a better team
We suited up and began our adventure
All I remember was that when I hit the ground I was in such a euphoric state I could not think of or focus on anything else but the sensory overload that cascaded around in my body mind and soul
I went home to reflect on the experience
I could not get it out of my mind
I spoke to my team of councilors and therapists
They all agreed I should go back for a second jump
So I did
Sebastian let me go bare foot
I wanted to FEEL the air on my feet for I have always been one to prefer to have the ground under them – sans apparel
It was again MAGNIFICENT
As I look back now and read thru my journals I can see how animated and excited I was
There was – without a doubt – a breath of fresh air in me …
I spent the next three months going thru the AFF program
Again – all of my councilors agreed this would be good in my healing process
I had to find something to focus on and being an avid student of life – having an inquisitive mind – and being of an athletic disposition – committing to something by myself – for myself – would hopefully help me re define myself.
Well – it did - and so much more
In June of 2006 fresh out of the AFF program and 30 minutes of tunnel time under my belt I attended a canopy control class
There I met a gentleman from Texas who would later not only become my coach and mentor but my eventual friend, companion and lover.
Now – I wasn’t looking for any of this
All I wanted to do was JUMP
Skydiving gave me the feeling of peace and tranquility I had so been lacking
In a serendipitous way it taught me that – there – in the sky – just me and space – there was nothing and no one but me – I had total control – and yet none
It helped me put everything back into perspective
I jumped thru the summer
I became stronger
I learned I was a lot stronger than I had ever imagined
My self-confidence and will to live slowly returned
By September – that gentleman - Johnny and I had become very close friends
Fate had brought us together
Of this I was sure
Thru long talks at night – over the telephone and across the miles we learned our lives had taken parallel courses
His son had been hit by a car and suffered brain trauma
My son was recovering from a tumor
This was in and of itself huge because he could empathize with all the medical and financial issues I had to deal with
He had a daughter as did I
We both referred to them as “Princess”
He had a spouse with addiction issues and had been thru a volatile divorce
I was in the middle of one
He came to Florida
We jumped
I went to Texas
We jumped
As our friendship blossomed into “love” his obsession with skydiving became mine
Then - in October of 2006 I had a terrible accident
My inexperience and ignorance caused me to crash and burn
On my 45th birthday I received 11 fractures – 7 chips and 1 compressed bone.
I “crushed” my foot
For the next 7 months I was in a cast
I didn’t jump for 10
All this time on the ground I got to re evaluate my skydiving journey
I got to examine the how and whys of it all
I was blessed with this time and opportunity to examine the if and what about this strange exercise that compelled and drove me to such wild states
I got to decide if this was something I really wanted to do …
In the end – the final answer was YES
In July of 2007 my orthopedic surgeon gave me the “green light” and I was able to get re certified and current.
I spent most of that summer commuting back and forth from my home in Florida to Houston where the man I would eventually call my companion lived.
Then just as my life seemed to be getting back on track I again had to face the reality of fear and danger
My gear – which I had bought new – a present from me to me from my divorce - gave me the scare of my life
After less than 15 jumps back from my accident, at a new drop zone, on a hot summer day – not only did I have my first cut way but I also had my first off landing.
Apparently – my container – which I had bought new – had one riser flap that did not stretch out properly
The more jumps I made – the greater this issue became
My first malfunction was a violent line twist with 12 rotations.
When I looked up I knew I was never going to untangle them as they shot up to the top of the lines and were tightly wrapped.
Lucky for me emergency procedures were something that my AFF instructor Laura Song went over in detail.
From her I learned – in no uncertain terms – that each dive flow should contain your emergency procedures
As a new jumper – I just naturally included this as part of my dive flow
I don’t think I had had enough experience to become complacent about it
The funny thing was I never got scared
In fact – my arousal level never really went up until I got back down on the ground and had to deal with the well wishing concerned fellow skydivers.
Several weeks later – and several hundred dollars of repack and replacement fees as well - the same thing happened again.
This time – with more spinning and I got slung over on my back
Again I went for my handle and again I found myself under a white fluffy reserve.
This time upon hitting the ground I landed on an ant bed
Unbeknownst to me they got up into my jumpsuit and started biting me
Five hours later - after mega doses of benadrl all was well less the down time I would now ensue whilst I was having my rig inspected thoroughly by the manufacturer and getting all the parts and pieces for my repack.
Since down time was something I was becoming very familiar with I used the opportunity to study and learn the random and blocks.
I diligently reviewed and visualized as many as I could so that upon my eventual return in late November I was READY TO SKYDIVE
At this point I also made a commitment to give myself two years and a certain amount of resources to really explore my skydiving potential – explicitly relative work
It is now one year into that decision … and with over 200 jumps and 8 hours of tunnel I have at least established that YES – I am a skydiving “junkie” - with a strong – almost compulsive – urge to JUMP
So – has skydiving changed my life?
You bet …
Or is it that my life changed and I found skydiving?
All I know for sure is that it is true what I have heard about people with an obsessive lifestyle or habit.
I now eat, live and breathe this stuff.
I have no real or substantial friendships, communication or rapport with people who are not involved in the skydiving world.
Woofos almost “bore” me …
My conversation and thoughts revolve around skydiving or some subsidiary there of
My kids think I am nuts – but then they knew I always was … perhaps even more so now though they are both thrilled and relieved that I have found something that puts such a smile on my face
Life is a journey and it is all about choices
Nothing is forever and if there is an ultimate lesson in all of this – one that became abundantly clear to me - it is that none of us have any control over our circumstances but only how we react to them
In skydiving I have found a way to reconcile and deal with this universal phenomenon and found an inner peace and joy to help me continue on navigating thru the journey
After all – as Kaptain Kirk keeps reminding me “it is not the destination but the journey that is important so relax and enjoy it”
Thanx Kirk
I’m trying
With heartfelt appreciation to BJ, Jonni~Renee, KatManKanDo, Chessie, Larry, Demo, Tuna, Kaptain Kirk, Samer, Laura, Sally, Scott, Ms Tiff, and JT.
( WRITTEN IN JUNE OF 2008 )
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